also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
