Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
