remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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