is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
