just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
