He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
