I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
