Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Randomize
