Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Sext me about skeletons
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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