i permit you to call me
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
