its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
