I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
