it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
