He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Pooping to opera.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
