is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
