There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
