i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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