I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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