I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
