Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
