girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
