He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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