in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
