i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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