And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
