Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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