At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
