Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize