Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
