i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
