Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
