Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
