so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
