was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
