absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
True but thats because hes a fetus.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
