First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
