i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize