As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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