I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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