Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
