The brown eye won't let me do that either.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
