Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
