oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize