out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
