....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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