Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
