he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
