All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
