You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize