Say something about gay babies.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
