What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
