Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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