Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
