A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
