I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
