i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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