You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize