K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
