do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
