I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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