Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
